moving on bucket list

dahil heartbroken ako...

• gusto kong maging magaling na writer, blogger o basta isang witing makata.
• gusto kong maging magaling magluto o magbake. yung tipong kaya kong gumawa ng 4-course meal everyday. o kaya ung tipong hindi ako pinagpapawisan habang nagmamasa ng tinapay.
• gusto kong manood ng sine kasama ang kaibigan kong nasa parehong sitwasyon tulad ng sa akin, tumambay sa starbucks (kahit di ako nag starbucks) at magpity party.
• gusto kong kumain ng bonchon chicken, manood ng tv, magmukmok at matulog sa kwarto maghapon
• gusto kong maglinis ng bahay, magkuskos ng kaldero, magpaligo ng aso, magpintura ng gate
• at higit sa lahat, gusto kong gumawa ng bucketlist ng mga taong gusto kong ma-meet (for the first time or for the last time) bago ako mamatay. at isa sya dun.hindi ko lang alam kung first time, last time or both)

lahat ng ito gusto kong gawin kasi nga tingin ko valid naman  dahil minsan lang naman ako maging heartbroken e. pero hindi ko magawa syempre, kasi kelangan kong magtrabaho, kumita ng pera, at ang magkalovelife! bow. wala e. 

We hope that you'll answer all questions without any reservations.

i have been out for quite some

time. (i guess blogging is not really for me. it is difficult to be consistent!). sarreh!! been busy working, learning japanese, looking for a job and waiting for love (did i say love?ewww...) well, well... let's move on with all my excuses because this morning the online school sent a survey sheet/teacher's feedback form. i know it is not typical for people to be soo happy to see and answer a survey form BUT in my case, i feel happy, excited and have mixed feelings answering the questions (you might be thinking that you are wasting your time reading this post. sorry again.)

so the mixed feelings of happiness, anger and disappointment made my morning so bright and dark at the same time. well, i will only share one question that made me realize why i am doing what i am doing right now. :)

Can you share your good and memorable experiences in your lessons?

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each lesson is unique on its own way. one of the best experiences i have is when my students asked advice about their private lives. :) I guess, that is one of the best  aspects in teaching. it is not only about the lessons, but also the connection between the teacher and the student. it is not about teaching grammar and pronunciations all the time, but more on teaching on how to communicate properly. basically that is my idea of teaching: connecting to people through good and proper communication.

well, i am not the best teacher, but i am trying to be better. i know i have a lot of work to do and it takes a lot of time, experience and heart and more heart in doing my work. 

what if...

thinking about the possibility that the Lord might not want me to go to Japan really breaks my heart. like TOTALLY!

what if I am the only person who likes this idea?
what if I am the only one who is pursuing this dream?

things flooded my head as I imagine "what if this is not part of the Lord's plan?"
what am i supposed to do next?

will I still get a real job that I really really really really waaaant?
will the Lord just let me dream things if He doesn't want me to pursue it in the first place?

whatever that is, the only way to know is to WAIT.

just like what my friend told me, "waiting is a refining and a revealing process."

aja! tuloy ang buhay! :)

typhoon Rammasun aka Glenda

Rammasun is the Name aka Glenda

we all know that Philippines is really prone to typhoons. 

we are used to experience floods, blackouts, water shortage, internet connection problems and short vacations(?) due to typhoons. 

we experience these things all year round with smiling faces and hands waving at the camera on national TV. 

but then again, when will this end? until when are we going to suffer from floods, blackouts and water shortages? hanggang jokes na lang ba at memes ang lahat ng ito? 

I know we, Filipinos are resilient and have a good sense of humor.
we are not intimidated with natural disasters and challenges in our lives.
ganyan tayo e! 

no flood is deep enough to discourage us.

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we always have ways to try a new hobby

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we are not threatened by life's adversities

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we always see the brighter side of things NO MATTER WHAT!

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and who knows, we may find TRUE LOVE during this time.
ano ba yan! ambunan naman yung mga walang love life jan oh!!!

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that's all folks! have a nice day! tiis tiis muna tayo. darating din ang umaga sa buhay nating mga Pinoy.:)

his heart and His heart

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Do not ask love from a person who doesn't know God 

because no matter how hard you try, you won't get the love that you really wanted.

watashi wa mishiru desu. I am your new GT. :)

for the past few days I was so stressed and worried about someone. i wasn't worried about myself but for someone else. those moments brought back memories from my GT days. GT or graduate team is also known as counselor/mother/friend rolled into one. it is a very unique job that I always have a hard time explaining what I really do in my job.

fast forward, I went back to my university and visited my friends. spent the entire weekend talking to them and catching up about thesis, academics, new jobs and even LOVE LIFE! so sad, I still don't have one. :( I'm happy to see them again, with fresh perspectives, new insights and crazy ideas.
life is meant to be shared.
we shared the same smiles and tears since we were in the university.
we shared the same passions in life even if we chose different careers.
we shared the same love for people even if we have different ways to show them.

we also cried.
we cried for the things that aches our hearts.
we cried for the people whom we really love.
we cried out to God for all the frustrations we had in our lives.

we prayed for the people we love.
even for our students who really don't know us.
we prayed for ambitions that we want to achieve.

I thought my GT days are finally over. I don't live in Laguna now and we already have a new GT. that was what I thought. But God showed me a different place to conquer. he wanted me to be a GT to my new set of students. they are not university students. they are different from the students we have in the university. their lives are more complicated and stressful. I still don't know what to do with them. I can only listen to them and help them in any way I can. I don't know if they think of me as a friend or as a teacher or just a stranger who they talk to because they are bored and sad.
I don't know. I really don't know.
I don't know... but my heart to serve them and love them is there. I just hope that they would recognize that.

what to do with delinquent people?

what to do with delinquent people?

oh yeah here we go again!

If you are the manager, what do you usually do with your delinquent employees? how do you handle their tardiness?
If you are a teacher, how do you respond to the absences of your students?
If things go wrong because of other people, how do you react?

of course the inner me, wants to scream, blame and even crush somebody! patay ka sakin! huwag ka papahuli ng buhay!

I can be mean, rude and nasty if I want to. but hey, do I really have to do that? sometimes, I really wait to meet the person face to face to crush his/her spirit. for what? for PRIDE, I guess. to prove that I am so damn right and that person is so damn wrong.

but is it good? No.
does it make me feel better? for a while.
does it solve the problem? sometimes.
why sometimes? it is either they follow me or they harden their hearts

what should I do?

I asked my friends about their responses to their delinquent students. here are some of their bratty witty responses and warm advices:

• don't waste your money, come to class.
• you are wasting my time, you are wasting your time, you are wasting the government's time!
• if they come to class, good! if not, I don't care. no hard feelings. (I hope I can do that too!)
• their loss, not mine!
• as long as I get paid! (money is not the issue here!)
• learn to be unattached. we are their teachers and not their friends. (oh yeah, this is so true!)
• you don't know what they're going through. so be patient. (I really don't like this answer because it doesn't suit my personality but i guess this is one of the best answers)

at one time or another, I reacted the way my friends did. at some level depending on the scenario. sometimes, I don't care. most of the time, I do really care (even if my students don't really care at all!). yes that's life! that is all I can say. I am a teacher and they are my students. at the end of the day, I still love them and I thank them for letting me teach them.

ahh! and one last thing: another teacher said something like this: "don't complain. it is ok if they are always late or absent, as long as they are safe." 

that is true! with the culture and thinking of my students, I always thank God that they are alive and well! :)